Yesterday walking home with Sean we walk into the park and out of the park. Had quite abit of cryings in the park. No, I'm not crying because we had a tiff or what. I'm crying because of the upcoming O's. Labels: school
So after that, I managed to struggle to get my Amaths book out and study. But nothing gets into my head.
I can tell you that I totally (going to) give up on this irksome subject already.
After a long sleep yesterday night, because I got a sudden coldness (and I slept while hugging my knees) that my temperature went down to 36.4 degree celcius, I suddenly thought of giving up for O's.
I started preparing for my exams since the beginning of this year. I managed to walk so far, passed my preliminary exams (and scolded the teacher for insulting the MacDonald's workers and ITE students) and going to take the final exams TOMORROW. Just today, this very moment, I'm at self-destruction state and everything to me are like... so hard to reach for.
Sometimes I thought God is treating me quite well, by offering a new course I wanted to get into. But the future seems so far away and tough to walk into. It's like building a bridge with some wooden planks in the middle of nowhere. The last piece of plank maybe easy to get and the bridge might be easy to build, but if it breaks then I'm gonna fall.
Whatever comes, I'm gonna accept it. If I can't get into that course with my results, I'm just gonna accept where am I falling into: a pit of shit or a piece of green pastures. If god wants me to become a piece of shit in that pit, that I shall be.
